Saturday, August 18, 2007

Is it possible to have reached 25 and know that this is the end? I believe so. There is such beauty in death. Death of the soul. Of the eternal cycle of life. Death of youth, death of old, Death of new and Death of Death. that is what i mean. that is how i see my blessed 25. Too young, too old, too new, and too dead. There is such bliss in detachment. such bliss in laisser faire! such beauty in and peace in the still and silent night.

I love my darling. I love him more than i love anything i have ever loved. And i love him so, because we belong to the same one source that gave us life. the question is why was he 1.5 delayed? destiny. sure. but why? was it the challenge. the assertion of a feminist strike. the need for a mother. the lost mother. the motherless mother. the suffering of our nature.

the war brings tears to my eyes. i cannot bring myself to care, to deepen the dialogue between myself and the betrayed. betrayed by god. betrayed by the kindred of their lord. the orphans of god. the forgotten children, the abandoned children. the desolate.

and you ask me why i cry? i cry because i like it! i cry because the rivers are dry, the drought is solemn and the rain is shy.